


anthem for the weak

by milfbyers



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Post S3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:15:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28627113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milfbyers/pseuds/milfbyers
Summary: joyce spends a sunday morning trying to pick up the pieces
Relationships: Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, a little bit - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	anthem for the weak

the edges of the counter were pressing into her palms. joyce’s knuckles were white and she knew she had been standing there for too long. the moment the door creaked open, she knew jonathan would be waiting with sympathetic eyes and a gentle smile that held back the question of “are you okay?”. she gave herself another moment to stand there. another moment to breathe in, count to 5 and breathe out. another moment to shake the nightmares that haunted her after the sun came up. 

she jumped at the sound of glass breaking in the kitchen. joyce wasn’t comforted by the “sorry, mom!” will called out, his apology wrapped in giggles that were soon followed by el laughing with him. her thoughts were taking her somewhere else. the apology she heard wasn’t the lighthearted one from her son that would usually earn him a ruffle of his hair and a “be more careful next time” as she bent down to pick up the broken pieces. 

instead, she heard a rough “jesus, joyce, are you kidding me?” slurred together. she felt the ghost of a hand on her upper arm, one she knew was holding her too tight. joyce closed her eyes. “this isn’t real, lonnie isn’t here. you’re at home. you have the kids, it’s okay” she could barely lift her voice above a whisper. she let herself get lost in will and el’s voices on the other side of the wall. her two youngest had started a routine of making breakfast on sunday mornings while jonathan slept in. she should be out there, she should be singing along to the radio with them and pouring batter into the pan.

but joyce was in the bathroom shaking out an anxiety attack and letting the sound of glass shatter play on repeat. her grip on the counter finally loosened. she met her eyes in the mirror. her hair was a mess, she can’t remember the last time she actually brushed it. mascara was trailed underneath her eyes and leftovers of lipstick sat in the corner of her mouth from her late shift the night before at the restaurant in town. 

joyce found that the men that came in after 9 o’clock preferred her “all dolled up” which means they left more cash on the table. she figured a little lipstick didn’t hurt if it paid her bills. she reached for the washcloth next to the sink and turned the faucet on. she held her hands under the water, waiting for it to warm up. she closed her eyes again. this time it wasn’t lonnie she was met with, instead it was bob and hopper.

before they moved, bob was everywhere. she turned the corner and she could see him standing in the kitchen, holding out a spoon for her to try what he had made for dinner. she would be folding a blanket in the living room and turn, ready to find his camera in her face, but instead she was met with an empty room. a place that had never meant to hold a man joyce never truly loved had become a home for his ghost. 

moving helped joyce wash herself clean of him. the guilt lingered, it always would. it was a stain. but bob wasn’t hidden in the corners of the new kitchen or found in the couch on friday nights when joyce and her kids curled up on the couch to watch movies. he came back in flashes. which she could handle. she could handle the flashes and the nausea the guilt brought on really bad days.

but, hopper had followed them to minnesota. he moved with them, settled in the boxes labeled “hop’s things” and in the lost look el had in her eyes sometimes. his laughter was tucked into joyce’s chest, right against her heart. his clothes, split evenly between el and joyce, were found hanging in her closet. but her favorite shirt of his was tucked under her pillow, she held it at night, breathing in what was left of him. he was in every accidental curse word el let out when she burned her hand or hit her shin on the coffee table. he was in joyce’s cigarette smoke.

when joyce let herself dream, hopper was next to her in bed. he was kissing her neck, pulling her closer to him. he was helping will and el make breakfast and he would bring her coffee in bed. on her bad days, and he always knew when she was having one, even if she didn’t say anything, he would get back into bed with her and hold her. they would sit in a comfortable silence and the pull of anxiety in joyce’s chest would ease at his touch. but she didn’t allow herself to dream that often. she didn’t feel she had earned it. 

the water had started burning her wrists. joyce opened her eyes again and moved to wet the washcloth. she rubbed her eyes then moved to her mouth. once satisfied with her clean face, she turned away from the mirror. she was going to leave the bathroom. joyce was going to meet her kids for breakfast at the table and not think about how much money groceries were going to cost. she wasn’t going to feel ill when she saw all the leftovers that would be tossed in the trash later that week. and she was definitely going to finish her plate this week. 

she opened the bathroom door. as joyce walked towards the kitchen, she could hear jonathan had beat her there. his laugh had joined will and el’s and she smiled at him giving them advice on how to crisp the bacon just right or how to get the chocolate chips to melt perfectly in the pancakes. her heart ached. she longed to fix the world for them. she wanted to take all of their pain and make it her own. 

joyce stood in the doorway. will saw her first, “morning mom!” his hands were full with plates that were on their way to the table. joyce met el’s eyes. “morning, honey” she smiled. el smiled back at her, “morning” her voice was quiet and shy. they were adjusting. she knew el had begun to warm up when she started crawling into bed with joyce after a nightmare. she clung to that trust, desperate to never let it slip between her fingers.

jonathan was pouring coffee into two mugs when she turned to look at him. “two sugars or one this morning, mom?” her heart softened and pulled with guilt. she wanted to go back in time, to cradle jonathan against her chest as a baby again, to make things right. “two, please” she said instead and reached up to ruffle his hair. 

joyce took her seat at the kitchen table. her cup of coffee was pressed in her hands, soothing the ache from holding the counter too tight. el sat next to her, it was just then joyce noticed she was wearing hopper’s shirt. she leaned over, “i like your shirt” she whispered and el gave her a sad smile. “i miss him” el confessed, piling pancakes onto her plate. she reached out and squeezed el’s hand, a silent “me too” passed between them.

she turned towards her own plate, fighting to ignore the stack of two pancakes versus her usual one and began to eat. she let herself get distracted by will’s story of the sleepover he had on friday and jonathan talking about his shift the night before. 

the episode in the bathroom just half an hour before was almost forgotten as joyce did the dishes afterwards. lonnie’s hand wasn’t gripping her too tight and the guilt she held for bob wasn’t gnawing at her stomach. her shoulders were relaxed. 

the ghosts from earlier were replaced with smells of maple syrup and bacon and the low hum of the radio jonathan had turned on earlier. the hauntings were still following her but joyce had found they were becoming easier to fight off.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3 if u recognize the bits and pieces of vfab canon, this is ur sign to go reread it 
> 
> milfbyers on twitter


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